little something i wrote before i went to bed...
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can't get blood, you say?
can't take the pain, you say?
completely f*ucked and out of options, you say?
well friend, you'v come to the right place. allow me to introduce myself, i'm vicious, the high king of last ditch efforts. if your desperate for a quick, easy, and relatively in-expensive fix, have a seat and listen up.
1) go to the online yellow pages, put in your zip code then type in "butcher" or "slaughter house". i suggest starting with butchers, as they usually are more willing to sell.
2) don't even think about going to a chain store Delly, or any thing like that, the'll just look at you like your nuts. what you need to find is a privately owned and operated butcher.
3) be prepared to spend a little money, as well as negotiate.
4) call them up, and ask them if they sell blood. now, this is VERY important!!! they must understand that it has to be beef blood, and that it MUST be fresh and sterile enough for human consumption (tell them your English or something, you making blood pudding). if they say they can do it, ask how much (my guy tried to get me at $5 a pint, but since i bought it in bulk i talked him down to $3.50). arraign an order for the date and time you can pick it up.
5) now your going to need some extra stuff here...
A: one bottle (or more, depend on how much blood you bought) of wine. NEVER use white, only red. and the stronger the better.
B: a funnel with a nozzle small enough to fit into the wine bottle opening.
C: a THIN cloth (a clean bandanna works fine). be prepared to throw it away.
D: an empty, clean washed milk jug.
6) take the bandanna and place it inside the funnel, but not all the way, tho, deep enough so that there is room to pour liquid in it. tape it around the edges, so that it is secure. insert it into the milk jug. pour the blood (very slowly) into the contraption. when all of it has been strained, remove the funnel from the jug and the bandanna from the funnel.
7) now, in the milk jug, mix about a 1:2 ratio of blood:wine. get rid of the rest of the wine (better yet, save it for latter ). use the funnel to pour the concoction back into the wine bottle (as to hide it's continence while in the fridge). shake well. put the bottle in the coldest part of your refrigerator, but NOT the freezer.
shake the bottle well every time, before you drink the contents, that way you get an even mix. it taste like piss, but it works (take about a full glass to kill the need for me), and you don't have to worry about donors talking, or blood born diseases.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
can't get blood, you say?
can't take the pain, you say?
completely f*ucked and out of options, you say?
well friend, you'v come to the right place. allow me to introduce myself, i'm vicious, the high king of last ditch efforts. if your desperate for a quick, easy, and relatively in-expensive fix, have a seat and listen up.
1) go to the online yellow pages, put in your zip code then type in "butcher" or "slaughter house". i suggest starting with butchers, as they usually are more willing to sell.
2) don't even think about going to a chain store Delly, or any thing like that, the'll just look at you like your nuts. what you need to find is a privately owned and operated butcher.
3) be prepared to spend a little money, as well as negotiate.
4) call them up, and ask them if they sell blood. now, this is VERY important!!! they must understand that it has to be beef blood, and that it MUST be fresh and sterile enough for human consumption (tell them your English or something, you making blood pudding). if they say they can do it, ask how much (my guy tried to get me at $5 a pint, but since i bought it in bulk i talked him down to $3.50). arraign an order for the date and time you can pick it up.
5) now your going to need some extra stuff here...
A: one bottle (or more, depend on how much blood you bought) of wine. NEVER use white, only red. and the stronger the better.
B: a funnel with a nozzle small enough to fit into the wine bottle opening.
C: a THIN cloth (a clean bandanna works fine). be prepared to throw it away.
D: an empty, clean washed milk jug.
6) take the bandanna and place it inside the funnel, but not all the way, tho, deep enough so that there is room to pour liquid in it. tape it around the edges, so that it is secure. insert it into the milk jug. pour the blood (very slowly) into the contraption. when all of it has been strained, remove the funnel from the jug and the bandanna from the funnel.
7) now, in the milk jug, mix about a 1:2 ratio of blood:wine. get rid of the rest of the wine (better yet, save it for latter ). use the funnel to pour the concoction back into the wine bottle (as to hide it's continence while in the fridge). shake well. put the bottle in the coldest part of your refrigerator, but NOT the freezer.
shake the bottle well every time, before you drink the contents, that way you get an even mix. it taste like piss, but it works (take about a full glass to kill the need for me), and you don't have to worry about donors talking, or blood born diseases.
